So, you just welcomed a little one into the world. You are probably sleep-deprived, running on 3 cups of coffee or four maybe, and in some serious need of a long shower.
But the real question is: how do you make time for yourself in all the chaos? How do you find time to feel like yourself so that you can be there for your child, or not only give them the best start in life but also nurture your self-development?
Being a parent can often mean putting the needs of everyone above your own. Between changing diapers and feeding, it is challenging to find time for yourself. Let’s face it- the little time you have to yourself is probably spent catching up on sleep or finally eating a proper meal.
As a mother of 3, I have learned that it is easy to get caught up with the busyness of life and forget about your wants and needs. Over the years, as I have seen my kids grow up and have babies of their own, I have realized the importance of taking care of myself and making time for the things I love. After all, the happier you are in your own life, the more present you can be in your children’s.
In today’s blog, I will share with you five things you can do to remember to take care of yourself even when you have got your hands full with a tiny human.
1. MAKE A LIST OF THINGS.
Make a list of things that makes you happy or that you want to do. It could be anything from reading a book, food you love to eat or would like to try, making a cup of tea or doing your nightly skincare routine to going for a walk. These small acts of love will help you remember who you are and help you feel good.
2. FIND YOUR “POCKET OF PEACE”.
As a new parent, it can be hard to find time in the day for yourself. That is why I am a firm believer in finding your own little “pocket of peace.” These can be small moments throughout the day that you take to do something you enjoy. For my daughter, this means sipping on an iced coffee while my granddaughter takes her afternoon nap. For me, it is calling up a friend to catch up or discuss our new favourite shows.
A good tip is to create some space and your “pocket of peace.” It will allow you to go somewhere where you can sit, recharge and refocus.
3. SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF.
I know, I know. You are probably asking yourself how to make time for these little moments. I will make it simple- you have to show up for yourself. Remind yourself that your peace and happiness matters. No matter how busy life gets, you owe yourself some gratitude and care. Whether it is 10 minutes or 1 hour of alone time (lucky you!), make it count. Let yourself unwind and reflect on what makes you happy (remember the list we created in step 1?). Enjoy that cup of tea, do your stretches, show yourself some love.
4. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE.
It is essential to take care of your Mental Health, especially at this time of your life. When you become a new parent, you will find many people around you who can stress you out by giving unnecessary advice on how or how not to take care of the baby. Some will tell you that you are not doing enough, that you need to do this, or you need to do that. At this time of your life, when you are so new in the role of a mother, you need people who can support and inspire you. People who can let you be the person you are and try not to change you.
Set some healthy boundaries with people who are a little less supportive and take care of yourself.
5. SEND A LETTER OF LOVE TO YOURSELF.
Write a letter to yourself. Tell yourself that you are loved, appreciated and that you are making it all worth it. Let yourself know that you are not alone in this journey and you are so proud of yourself. Tell yourself that there will be ups and downs, but you are a strong person. And last but not least, tell yourself that you are unique and your body is remarkable. Promise yourself that you will love yourself no matter how you look or how many pounds you have gained or not.
Just remember “You Matter” and that all matters!
KNOW THE SYMPTOMS OF POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION
- Excessive crying, or experiencing prolonged crying unrelated to a baby’s needs.
- Feeling very tired or lacking in energy.
- A sense of hopelessness or feeling overwhelmed.
- Trouble in sleeping.
- Loss of appetite or feeling very hungry.
- Thoughts of suicide or of harming the baby.
Please note that it can be difficult to distinguish from the symptoms of ‘baby blues’, which is expected after a baby is born from postpartum depression, and PPD.
If you’re experiencing any of the above symptoms of Postpartum Depression (PPD), contact your family physician for an assessment. If you are experiencing any suicidal thoughts or urges, call 911 immediately.
Authors: Shumaila Waheed, B.A., RSSW.
Last updated: November 2021
